Journey of Fate (by Sue Ann Tan, 1997)

This poem was written in 1997 which is more than a decade now (it can already be displayed in the museum :p). However, since it tells my feelings now, I decided to put it in this blog... The poem is "so me"..if you get what I mean...

THE JOURNEY OF FATE
by Sue Ann Tan

Broommm.....
the engine of the white boat geared up,
it began the journey to the west---
A journey of prosperity and longevity..
In my heart, I was hoping that the journey
to the west would be safe and sound..
I prayed to the good Lord above
as I started my Journey of Fate.

As I reached heart the heart of the sea,
A gust of strong wind from the east blew,
The wind blew strongly,
It blew hard,
as if it was blowing my luck and fate away,
keeping me out of the clear root to the west,
keeping me out of reach of the journey of fate.

In my misty sight,
an evil face appeared---
nothing could be seen,
but followed what I heard.

'Watch out, you might die of thirst and hunger.
There is no where out from here.
You can't reach the west ---
Your fate is in my hands"

"No matter what happens, I wanna reach there"
I shouted with anger and impatience.
I strained my eyes,
trying to penetrate through the misty view,
trying to deny the evil face's warning,
trying to make ends meet ---

"You won't reach the west,
Now and forever ---
Your fate has changed ---
I am sorry, but this is fate"
The evil face claimed.

The wind blew even stronger,
blew...blew..blew...
the white boat left me ---
Abandoned me in the sea of worries,
Left me in despair ---
Ditched me in the heart of the deep ocean ---
Carress my thoughts and feelings
as my wild thoughts searched for the truth of life.

I floated on the ocean surface,
still had hope to live,
still had a chance to survive,
through the ups and downs of life,
to reach the west, a place of hope ---

But,
Fate had soaked my dream,
Fate had dampened my hope,
Fate had drowned my soul ---
NO more hopes,
NO more goals!

Fate was withheld,
It didn't allow me to float ---
I began to sink,
in the deep ocean blue,
and to the world of hell...

Fear overtook me,
I strived hard,
to cling on the wood blocks,
to grab a chance ---
to live, to continue the journey to the west ---

"I am sorry, but I can't help you"
The wood block said
with a "sorry" look on his face,
"Fate tells it all---
I have no permission to help you,
I'm truly sorry."

The wood block left me too---
It floated and drifted a few miles apart,
Vanished in my sight---
I would never see him again,
Forever more ---

NO one is willing to side me,
in the naked deep blue ocean,
NO one wants to accompany me,
NO one dares to violate---
The fate of this life on earth---

In the days of pains and sorrows,
only emptiness covered my weak heart,
cause pride overwhelmed their minds,
they rather abandoned me,
to chase their dreams.

Tears rolled down my cheeks,
Tears of bitterness,
Tears of lost hope,
Tears of a broken heart...