Gazingstar's cute diary

I have been on medical leave for almost 3 days now. This is the first time on such a long MC throughout my entire working life. I must have been real sick. I am now left with only 4 senses. My blocked and watery nose deterred me from smelling the aromatic smell of my favourite coffee, perfume, food and beautiful sense of flowers. For the past few days I refused to take in food which was tasteless because I could only make use of my tongue to taste the food without the smelling element... Pity me!

It also came as a great disappointment to my friend as I had no choice but to break the promise of accompanying her to the bridal studio tomorrow. I really wished that I could take another 1/2 day leave tomorrow but that will leave me jobless in the future. haha!

Nothing is perfect. I have to receive one thing at the expense of another thing. That is, I have to take more rest so that i am able to travel to Singapore this weekend.

At least I am being compensated for now based on the fact that my mum approved my project. I am glad that she did not have any high expectations on it. Or else I would just be more pressurized towards achieving success. Thank you mum for your support. It counts!

The Poet by Sue Ann Tan (1998)
(In memory of my Literature Teacher at TEC College, Melbourne, Thank you for sharing such a wonderful story about poets from the 18th century)

His pen moved gracefully obeying the music of his words,
Enthusiastically, he wrote on the table regardless the mountain of dirts,
Thousands of ideas raced in his mind unknowingly of which to write first,
His lips dried and cracked, showing his unbearable thirst.

The wind chime hanging on his door strung a beautiful rhythm,
As he listened, he composed a heart-warming National Anthem
It was about independence and unrestricted freedom,
his love for the piece of work gradually deepened.

He wrote with great sensibility and emotion,
The gut feelings in him were still in motion,
Helplessly, tears of his "touched heart" dripped into his art of potion,
He knew that he would not drown in the heart of an ocean.

Then, he halted to grasp a piece of thin fresh air,
His hand was supporting his scalp, under his hair,
The dark ages had passed, the disappearing of a nightmare,
Knowledge and ideas of "Enlightenment" he'd like to share.

He ended the poem with the world's rebirth,
and there should be no hatred in people's heart but "love"
Soon his unresistable tiredness and tension blocked his nerve,
He slept with a note in front of his door, "Poet at work".

This poem was written in 1997 which is more than a decade now (it can already be displayed in the museum :p). However, since it tells my feelings now, I decided to put it in this blog... The poem is "so me"..if you get what I mean...

THE JOURNEY OF FATE
by Sue Ann Tan

Broommm.....
the engine of the white boat geared up,
it began the journey to the west---
A journey of prosperity and longevity..
In my heart, I was hoping that the journey
to the west would be safe and sound..
I prayed to the good Lord above
as I started my Journey of Fate.

As I reached heart the heart of the sea,
A gust of strong wind from the east blew,
The wind blew strongly,
It blew hard,
as if it was blowing my luck and fate away,
keeping me out of the clear root to the west,
keeping me out of reach of the journey of fate.

In my misty sight,
an evil face appeared---
nothing could be seen,
but followed what I heard.

'Watch out, you might die of thirst and hunger.
There is no where out from here.
You can't reach the west ---
Your fate is in my hands"

"No matter what happens, I wanna reach there"
I shouted with anger and impatience.
I strained my eyes,
trying to penetrate through the misty view,
trying to deny the evil face's warning,
trying to make ends meet ---

"You won't reach the west,
Now and forever ---
Your fate has changed ---
I am sorry, but this is fate"
The evil face claimed.

The wind blew even stronger,
blew...blew..blew...
the white boat left me ---
Abandoned me in the sea of worries,
Left me in despair ---
Ditched me in the heart of the deep ocean ---
Carress my thoughts and feelings
as my wild thoughts searched for the truth of life.

I floated on the ocean surface,
still had hope to live,
still had a chance to survive,
through the ups and downs of life,
to reach the west, a place of hope ---

But,
Fate had soaked my dream,
Fate had dampened my hope,
Fate had drowned my soul ---
NO more hopes,
NO more goals!

Fate was withheld,
It didn't allow me to float ---
I began to sink,
in the deep ocean blue,
and to the world of hell...

Fear overtook me,
I strived hard,
to cling on the wood blocks,
to grab a chance ---
to live, to continue the journey to the west ---

"I am sorry, but I can't help you"
The wood block said
with a "sorry" look on his face,
"Fate tells it all---
I have no permission to help you,
I'm truly sorry."

The wood block left me too---
It floated and drifted a few miles apart,
Vanished in my sight---
I would never see him again,
Forever more ---

NO one is willing to side me,
in the naked deep blue ocean,
NO one wants to accompany me,
NO one dares to violate---
The fate of this life on earth---

In the days of pains and sorrows,
only emptiness covered my weak heart,
cause pride overwhelmed their minds,
they rather abandoned me,
to chase their dreams.

Tears rolled down my cheeks,
Tears of bitterness,
Tears of lost hope,
Tears of a broken heart...

How lucky I feel to be able to stay in his embrace today,
the warmth and love that I need...
Suddenly our quarrels and fights have been erased in the sea of memories~
I wonder whether this is good or bad....
Some people say this is running away from the root of the problems in our relationship...

How lucky I feel to be able to stay in his embrace today,
the peace and calmness that I need...
Suddenly I reminded myself that he no longer belongs to me in my life~
I wonder whether he deserves another good chance....
Some people feel that I should forget him no matter how he feels now....

How lucky I feel to be able to stay in his embrace today,
even though it only lasted for that split seconds..
even though we have not finished counting the stars...
but I will let this moment lingers in my memory forever and ever~
How lucky I feel to be able to stay in his embrace today...

 

At last, the four days spent with my Image Guru has ended. How time flies. I am glad to say that the 4 days were fruitful. My course mates are warm and friendly and most of them are easy-going. Comparing with the class on last Saturday, being with my other 4 coursemates were more fun as they show more enthusiasm, determination and more sporting.

We all have our own homework to do before going through the last 3 days with Evelyn. First, need to run to the nearest stationery shop to get the hard boards and some magazines.... 6 more styles to go. Luckily, I managed to find another 3 more people to go shopping with but I really need to book their time. Kinda disappointed as someone promised to go shopping with me but flew kite in the end. Even though this exercises would be time-consuming and test my patience but I kinda enjoy it as I also get to do some shopping at the same time. It has been ages since I have done my shopping.... I realized that most of my clothings are worn-out, especially those tops that are my beloved. Made me feel as though I am wearing uniform to work each week. I am repeatedly wearing the same old clothes. Gosh....

The moment that I will never forget is when I saw my own transformation. I must really thank my makeup artists, Jocess and Susan as they both rock! Both have more than 10 years experience in makeup... Another miracle was the comments received in Facebook. Received many positive comments from my friends... 大概 十八 個。。How true it is when people say "人靠衣裝”。 包裝真的很重要﹗ 形象顧問不容易做呢﹗